* that there was NO way in hell I could run more than the gym-class-required mile
* that I would die in childbirth
* changing my name to "Samantha" so as not confuse my elementary school teacher who had two students named Denise in class was a good idea
* that marriage was an effortless happily-ever-after
* I wasn't cut out for teaching (well, OK, I still think that some days)
* my dad was the strongest man in the world
* my mom was the loudest laugher in the world (yeah, now that's me, according to my kids)
* I would be an opera singer when I grew up
* singing at Lourdes was a temporary gig
* Catholics worshipped graven images
* I was really busy . . . before I had three children and two jobs
* about what eternity would look like when I couldn't fall asleep at night when I was 6 (mostly black space with stars?)
* that my teachers never had to use the bathroom or go to the grocery store. In fact, I never once thought of them as having any kind of personal life. Didn't they just live in their classrooms, prepping for today's lesson?
* that my high school band director, Jack Shaffer, was God's little brother. He was incredible in so many ways.
* that watermelons would grow in my belly if I swallowed the seeds. After all, that's what my Pappy told me.
* that bad things never happened to good people